Ok...so I haven't posted in forever. I'm starting to just think that the habitual blog neglect sort of thing comes with the territory of being me. No, this isn't a real post persay. Maybe three of you, and I emphasize the maybe, will have any clue where this came from or what it pertains to. But, you know, that doesn't really matter. It's being put up here because I like it and it more or less reflects what I'm not willing to put in my own words.

cause we're so scared to find out
what this life's all about
so scared we're going to lose it
not knowing all along
that's exactly what we need...

and you said I know that this will hurt
but if I don't break your heart then things will just get worse
If the burden seems too much to bear
Remember the end will justify the pain it took to get us there

yet another update

this is getting a little pathetic. i think i'm blogging more on the road than i do when i am at home. ah well...that's me for ya. anyhoo, the first week of youth camp just finished up. we are a bit tired. :-p granted i write that as i know at least three of us are downstairs taking naps. teeheehee. but that is beside the point. youth camp was great. i got to talk with some awesome kids and watch God do his thing. yay! we're all looking forward to next week. it's going to be amazing. i'm getting a bit silly and don't think i can say much more coherently. besides i need to go downstairs and change out the washer and dryer. hope you all are having a wonderful summer and perhaps i'll be able to say more soon! :)

p.s. i miss you lots too lil!!!

update

well late is better than never.....at least i think so anyways. so the six steps team is out and about and has been for approximately four weeks now(?). much fun has been had. we've walked 5 miles in the snow uphill both ways around medway passing out flyers for vbs. we got to help out with a backyard bible club in troy with jonathan newman's church koinos. right now we are in cleveland making a stop at the local library to print out directions and clean out email inboxes. i would go into more detail with all the fun stuff that's happened, but alas i cannot at the moment. time is running short. so for a bit more info on what we've been up to go to andy's xanga. he's been pretty good about keeping it updated as we galavant about. anyhoo...i will see you all in a few weeks! until then have a great summer.

p.s. i'm driving the van this weekend....so if your don't mind, pray i don't wreck it....many thanks

what remains...

She grew up in a house on Voight Drive in Indianapolis. It was an average house with white siding and a wooden garage door her father had made one summer. The inside wasn’t much different. Brown carpet covered most of the floors. She can recall how it used to swirl beneath her feet when she would run around in circles, reminding her of chocolate ice cream and fudge. The walls were white, save those in her and her sister’s bedroom. But all the walls were marred with remnants of children’s dirty fingers. Maybe they aren’t anymore. Her father kept the house after the divorce and lived there until his second marriage. Then he sold it. By now, layers of latex paint have been brushed across the old stains and smears to make way for new ones; the old carpet torn up and replaced with something less matted, less worn.

Nevertheless, that is the house where her memories reside. Ones of the many pets her family housed, of her first years of school, of learning how to live. No matter how often the walls are painted the marks and imperfections still seep through. With each additional coat they do grow fainter, but she can still find them easily. She knows where they are, where they always will be. They have become points of reference for her. How she knows who she is, what she is. They are why she came to love words, finding herself in another’s voice, someone who could say the things she could not. They are why she watched birds, longing for the freedom their wings gave them.

Years have continued to pass, changing how the house looks, how she looks. But beneath it all, they both have remained the same. The stains haven’t been cleaned up, they are still there. She still longs to have a voice of her own and wings.

So...

Sorry about the absence of posting. Granted I'm sure y'all are used to it by now. My disappearing for a while is nothing new and I am certain that will not be the last time it happens. My apologies to Kari and Ian. I will have your interview questions ready ASAP. I'm horrible at that sort of thing though...ah well. I feel like I have nothing interesting to say, ya know? Life has been kinda mundane...I think. I'm not really paying attention right now. When something bothers me I try to ignore it. Not healthy, I know. But I'm not going for healthy right now, I'm going for just scraping by. Things at the cafe are going well. I haven't burnt the place down or broken too many things, just a couple shot glasses. But...yeah. I am not really in the mood to talk about work. Or school. Or much of anything for that matter. Hence the lack of posts. Not that those things are horrid or anything. I just haven't felt like talking.
So I am terrible about keeping this place updated and will in no way be offended if you have linked to me and choose to delete that link. Right now I don't even think I would keep myself in my links list. Honestly, I don't really know why anybody would read this blog. I'm not really funny or cute. More often than not I have nothing intelligent to say, let alone entertaining. I usually keep things pretty vague and shallow. So why do I blog?
I don't know either.